Blog on a break

I’ve invested a lot of my time into blogging and I need to stop writing these really really important posts like ways to call up a pizza place and friendship is like peeing.
I need to dig my head back into the books and refocus! So I’ve decided I need to stop blogging until the mid-semester break. I’ve promised myself that I will not write any more posts until the mid-semester break.

Yes, yes, I know it’s sad. I’m sad too, I mean my blog stats are going to be at an all time low! And I know you’re all probably thinking, “OH NO! But what am I going to read now? Who am I going to get my pick up lines off? How will I know how popcorn pops?” and I say, Alas, my friend, I guess you’ll have to read other blogs… like…chazown… haha I’m KIDDING that was a good blog! (it’s now www.meigoh.com/blog, though)

Ok well, prepare for the blog drought…level 1..

Oxymorons

Oxymorons: a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction

Peace force
Terribly pleased
Exact estimate
Rap music
Plastic glasses
Pretty ugly
Diet ice cream
“Now, then …”
Sweet sorrow
Butt Head
Definite maybe
Same difference
Airline Food
Genuine imitation
Microsoft Works (classic!!)

The complexity of coffee (answers)

1. Cappucino (Espresso in a small amount of steamed milk, with a deep layer of foam. With less milk than a latte and choc sprinkles)
2. Café Latté (espresso, a lot of milk and foam, no choc sprinkles)
3. Caffè Misto/Café Au Lait (brewed coffee, and steamed milk)
4. Caffè Americano (espresso and hot water)
5. Caffè Mocha (espresso, mocha syrup (chocolate), steamed milk)
6. Café macchiato (is just espresso with a small amount of steamed milk on top)
7. Latte macchiato (is the opposite of a café macchiato and is served in a tall glass filled with steamed milk topped with a little espresso)
8. Espresso (espresso shots sipped straight for a more intense experience in flavor)
9. Espresso con Panna (A dense and caramelly-sweet espresso shot with a dollop of whipped cream)

So basically the difference between a caffe macchiato and a latte macchiato is that in a caffe mac, the espresso is put in before the milk, and in a latte mac, the milk is before the espresso- wow how riveting…

Zany ways to phone in a pizza order

1. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this conversation.”
2. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you’re going with the lowest bidder.
3. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
4. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
5 Imitate the order taker’s voice.
6. Say it’s your anniversary and you’d appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
7. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, “I shall not be swayed by your sweet words.”
8. When they repeat your order, say “Again, with a little more OOMPH this time.”
9. Mumble, “There’s a bomb under your seat.” When asked to repeat that, say “I said ’sauce smothered with meat’.”
10. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

How to be annoying

* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars, to see if they slow down.
* Practice making faxmodem noises.
* Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Specify that your drive-through order is “to go”.
* Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip…”
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
* Write “X – BURIED TREASURE” in random spots on all of someone’s road maps.
* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
* At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
* Name your dog “Dog”.
* Ask people what gender they are.
* Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a “real hoot”.
* Sing along at the opera.
* Mow your lawn with scissors.
* Make appointments for the 31st of September.

Fun things to do in an elevator

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
4. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
5. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
6. Shave.
7. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
8. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
9. One word: Flatulence!
10. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
11. Do Tai Chi exercises.
12. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on!”
13. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
14. Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends. (CLASSIC!)
15. Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.
16. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
17. Burp, and then say “mmmm…tasty!”
18. Leave a box between the doors.
19. Play the harmonica.
20. Say “Ding!” at each floor.
21. Lean against the button panel.
22. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope (CLASSIC!)
23. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
24. Bring a chair along.
25. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Li, simpsonized

Apparently, this is what I’d look like as a Simpson…
All I can say is I’m glad I’m not a simpson.

The complexity of coffee

There’s a ridiculous number of ways coffee can be made and jazzed up nowadays.
Mae and I often have arguments about what we think the differences between coffees are.
“NO, a macchiato is this”, I would say.
“No way! A macchiato is that!”, Mae would insist.
Usually I am right. I mean, I use to work at Donut King, I think I would know how to make a world class coffee! haha i’m kidding

Anyway here’s a list of some of the most popular types of coffee:

1. Cappucino
2. Café Latté
3. Caffè Misto/Café Au Lait
4. Caffè Americano
5. Caffè Mocha
6. Café macchiato
7. Latte macchiato
8. Espresso
9. Espresso con Panna

Do you know what the difference is between each/any of these (without googling)?
I’ll give you all the answers in a couple days or so.

Friendship is like wetting your pants

Stole this off someone’s blog. Classic!:

“Friendship is like wetting your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its true warmth.”

Fascinating Facts 2

1. Los Angeles’ full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula.”
So next time when you’re in LA, you have to send a post card that says, “Wishing you were in El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula!”

2. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
So they literally have to “live as though it’s their last day on earth”

3. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
A great conversation starter! When it gets really awkward: “….hey…did you know there are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball?”

4. “Stewardesses” is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
Try it!