Either he’s gay or just really bad at picking up girls

Went to woolies today with mum to buy some stuff before Lisa Hong came over for dinner at Paddington.
Anyway, as we got ready to pay, I was taking the bags of paid groceries from the check out chap. As he handed me the bags he smiled, gave me the thumbs up, and said, “nice bag”.
“Oh, thanks”, I replied.

Man, it was so hard not to smile/laugh because I was thinking to myself, who on earth uses “nice bag” as a pick up line? He must be gay. But I would like to think that I have a secret woolies check-out chap admirer. I would like to think I have a check out chap checking me out. No, I don’t want a check out chap checking me out, I just said that because it sounds catchy.

I actually haven’t had a very good run with guys picking me up. I do get A LOT of old men winking at me. And some times…. I wink back.

Anyway, a tip for the guys: putting your thumbs up and saying, “Nice bag” is not the best pick up line

I’m not sure about the relevance of the picture I attached to this blog entry…
Just cos he’s got his thumb up.

Urine the male toilets

“Hi Li, what did you get up to today..?”

“Oh, nothing much, I just accidentally walked into the male toilets at uni before my exam, you know, the usual…”

Being a girl, you know something’s just not quite right when you go into a restroom and the first thing you see are urinals. Some how, this logic simply didn’t register at 8am before my economics exam.

I was sitting outside the examination room, half and hour early, twiddling my thumbs and trying to figure out whether it is possible to twiddle your toes. Then I thought I would answer nature’s call and make my way to the toilet. The toilet was about maybe 5-10 metres away from where I was sitting and so I walked into what I thought was the girl’s toilets. I opened the door, and walked toward the toilets. For some unknown reason, the male toilet figure looked, to me, like a girl.

To the far left was a man takin a leak with his back facing me, so he didn’t notice I came in. For some unknown reason, it STILL didn’t register to me that I was in the male toilets, until I closed the door of the toilet. My thought processes were: “Did I just see a urinal…? Did I just see a man…? Does QUT have unisex restrooms?”

I stood there in my cubicle, hoping that all the guys would leave and then I could make a brisk exit. Unfortunately, being just before an exam, many MANY males came flooding in. I stood there for about 5 minutes looking through the crack in the door waiting for the right moment to leave, but people just kept coming in. So I decided that I would just quickly walk/RUN out and appologise to anyone I met on the way.

I was like a thief in the night walking out of there. Nobody noticed me (I hope)! Except people outside of the toilets did notice when I walked out and they gave me confused or disapproving looks. Luckily a friend was there to laugh at the situation… or rather, AT me.

Moral of the story- the girl-symbol on restroom doors never wears pants, even in winter.

On the plus side, the economics exam went really well, praise God!!

Mmmmmmaybach

“Hey Li, what did you get up to today..?”

“Oh, you know, nothing much, I just sat in a car worth over $1 million, it was a typical saturday..”

Man it was bliss! Getting the opportunity to sit in a Maybach- I surely will never forget it!

It’ll probably be the most expensive thing I ever put my butt on.

 

‘Toothpaste for dinner’ comics

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Jokes to jiggle the jaw

Firstly, I will explain the meaning of my title to those who are suss.
When you laugh at a joke, your jaw jiggles (..kinda)- hence the title.

Here are some nice jokes to make you smile in this time of frowning during exam preparation:

Q: What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A-flat minor.

Q: What is the most popular restaurant in the North Pole?
A: Burrrger King.

Q: What did the grape say to the elephant after the elephant stepped on it?
A: Nothing. It just let out a little wine (whine).

Well I hope your jaw jiggled as much as mine did!